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The Actions of Step One
There’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is that if you want a spiritual awakening through the 12 Steps, there’s nothing anybody can do to stop you from taking the actions that the steps indicate. The bad news is that you are unlikely to take the actions without the support of at least one other person.
Many sponsors and many sponsees slow the awakening down. Many recovering people say that the steps become a way of life, which can be an excuse to stop any awakening dead in its tracks.
There are many ways of slowing down or stopping the step work. Many people slow down when they are acting out in another area and aren’t willing to talk about it yet. Many people slow down because they are in emotional pain and imagine they need time to “process” it. What they need, generally speaking, is step work to resolve it.
The common places people stop step work altogether are at step three (by not making a decision to turn the will and life over - that is, unwillingness), at step four (by not being willing to see things in a new way - aka close-mindedness) and at step nine (by not being willing to consider setting straight their problems with other humans - a basic dishonesty considering the harm we have done others and self).
Commonly in step workshops the audience will decrease in size after Steps 3, 4, and 9, and this is considered by presenters a sign that things are working. The failure of willingness at step 9, open-mindedness and step 4, and honesty and courage at step 3 is palpable and fairly universal with step work. I believe by letting people know up front about the obstacles, they can take responsibility for their own recovery and determine to be different.
A sponsor can overcome all these problems, usually with ease. Having been through the process, we can often explain things in a new way and make sense of them. The trick is putting yourself in their way so they know when you need help. Some suggestions that have helped:
- Get into the habit of ringing your sponsor when things are okay.
- Get into the habit of ringing your sponsor when things are bag or in crisis.
- Get into the habit of ringing others, not just your sponsor, who have worked all twelve steps and are happy.
If you are known you can be helped. It’s that simple.
I said before that nobody can stop you from taking the actions of the steps. No-one can stop you from an awakening of the spirit. No-one can stop you from getting inspired. But you can stop yourself, easily: you only to avoid the actions of the twelve steps. You can avoid the actions of the steps this by feeling an emotional process, thinking about theories, or keeping up appearances of pride and prestige. Or you can take the damn actions and get free.
What is the action of the first step?
The actions of step one are two-fold. The first action of step one is: stop the addictive pattern. Stop drinking, drugging, sexing, gossiping, gambling. Whatever your addiction is, stop.
The second action of step one is the awakening action. The second act of step one is to walk in pain. Share it, talk about it, feel it. Live in it. Move through it. Let go into it.
Pain is not suffering. It will not kill you. And the pain of step one is the first sign of awakening. It is a sign you are alive. It is the body and emotion beginning to wake up. It must be experienced out in step one. Experiencing the inevitable pain of existence is the exact action of step one.
Step one can be so hard for many people to take a second time after they have relapsed. It is easy to suffer pain when you are told that you will experience inspiration and joy and wholeness and connection at the end of the process. But if you have taken the action of step one, suffering pain for weeks or sometimes even years, and not had a spiritual awakening, it is more difficult to believe you can get freedom the second time you take step one.
The opposite experience is also true: it will be discovered that by embracing a new experience of step one, you can find incredible growth, joy and freedom in all areas of life. For example, if I have worked the steps on drug addiction and got free of that, I can decide to work the steps on food and fitness. I can accept the pain of healthy food, the craving for junk food, and the pain of exercise and new habits, and by embracing that pain I can have a new experience of step one. Any time I want rapid and dynamic growth and change in my life, I must become aware of and willing to experience the pain of a new step one experience.
To summarize then:
- The actions of step one are two-fold: to stop using, and to start facing the pain of living clean.
- The actions of step one becomes easier to complete when we learn about the goal - the inspiration, joy, and awakening of step twelve.
- The actions of step one become easier when we accept the obstacles to the goal. The obstacles are:
1, the unwillingness to take step three,
2. the close-mindedness to take step four, and
3. the dishonesty and lack of courage to take step nine.
- The actions of the 12 steps are unlikely to be taken unless you have someone to support and encourage you.
- By accepting responsibility for the goal and by acknowledging these obstacles, you are empowered to fully surrender to the program of recovery.
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Compassion Comes from Releasing Pain
Instructions:
The spirit is born out of acceptance.
Compassion comes from letting go of pain.
First, then, locate the source of the pain.
Live in that world for a long time.
Step One: we admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Were we ready to admit that we could not, under any means, change a thing about our condition? The answer to this question lies in how much pain you are willing to face and accept.
What is the difference between a bad night and a rock bottom experience? The difference is desire for change.
Desire indicates potential. Why do people change? People change when they are willing to pay the price of change. What is the price of change? The price of change is desire.
Want to change forever? Easy: become willing to desire that change deeper, longer, and more than you desired the original condition. For example:
You have sickness. You become willing to change that condition. You face realities ruthlessly and ask for help relentless. You learn and take charge of what you can. You do you very best. But what is happening underneath all that is that you want to be healthy more than you want anything else, and you’re willing to do anything to win it. That kind of desire eventually succeeds. That kind of desire is called surrender in spiritual circles, but it really means a desire, a hunger, a thirst of the spirit for awakening. In surrender is the seed of awakening, it’s said, because only full awakening to aliveness will satisfy the desire of the surrendered person.
Let’s return to our instructions:
The spirit is born out of acceptance.
Compassion comes from letting go of pain.
First, then, locate the source of the pain.
Live in that world for a long time.
The first two lines are for contemplating, for the mind to chew over for a while. The second two lines are two actions. Find the source of your pain and live there. Why? Because that’s where the spirit’s born. The precise nature of these actions are, 1 feel that pain without anything in the way, and 2 act in service to others by finding someone else to share it with.
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This book will feature largely in this blog.
About 8SYTEM: A proven, creative, dynamic living system of recovery from addictions.
8YSTEM heralds a new phase of recovery. Twenty years ago when the Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous was written, much had been written about addiction, but little about recovery (see the opening to Book One of the Basic Text of Narcotics Anonymous). Likewise, now much has been written now about recovery, but this work primary concerns itself with the all the aspects of living recovery.
Recovery is a living system.
A system is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) as “a complex whole” a “set of interconnected parts”. OED also defines system as a method of organization of considered principles of procedure. Finally, OED says “system” comes from the Greek for “a set [of things or ideas]”.
Now the new word, 8YSTEM, indicates the multiple play of meaning and relationship and inquiry and experience that is recovery.
Recovery: A Map to Joy.
There is no right way to seek recovery. But there are many slow and painful ways. In accordance with our creative freedom, then, and in devotion to our Higher Power, these following suggestions are given. They have been found to greatly accelerate recovery, and bring much joy and happiness besides.
1. Work the 12 steps by turning them into actions you have taken. (Slower, more painful way: work the 12 steps by feeling, thinking, or arguing with others about them).
2. Talk about what you have done and how it worked or failed to work, and talk with others about what they have done. (Slower, more painful ways: talk about what you are going to do and what others are going to do; work the steps alone; work the steps with people who are active addicts; work with thinkers rather than doers.)
3. Treat recovery like an radical experiment, and your soul the laboratory. Test everything out for yourself. Look for solid results. (Slower, more painful way: treat recovery like an obligation, the end of your life, a social group, a support group, a self-help group. Recovery is a radical spiritual process of awakening.)
4. Define spirit in terms of how alive you feel and how functional you are in the world and in yourself. In other words, do inspired actions rather than be spiritual; live in a spirited and creative way, rather than stick to rules that keep you shut down. (Slower, more painful way: define spirit as a set of rules and restrictions to our creative freedom, stay negative and shallow, breathe from the top of your chest.)
Take these four suggestions and you have the basic traits of the 8YSTEM:
- The 8YSTEM is a living system of actions. See suggestion 1.
- The 8YSTEM is a proven system of definite practical suggestions to be taken with others. Suggestion 2.
- The 8YSTEM is a dynamic system. Dynamic means it has the power to move you. Letting yourself be so moved is Suggestion 3.
- Finally, the 8YSTEM of recovery is precise in its goal: the 8YSTEM aims to recover our creative freedom as human beings. This goal combines the inspirational and functional aspects of the spiritually awake, as per suggestion 4.
If that sounds exciting to you (it does to me!) then you are in the right place. Welcome.
