Imagine you are in a deep dark room, far, far underground. The smell of body odor, stale beer, urine and cigarettes is all around, but you see nothing, or perhaps only dim shapes. Notice how the sense that time has frozen? Notice how space feels like treacle, moving slowly around you?

You hear nothing but a persistent buzzing in your ears, a buzzing that cuts right through your body and makes it hard to hear the sluggish thud of your heart. You are sitting or lying down and unable to move - every movement is heavy and slow. All is still.

You take a shallow, painful, heavy breath. You let yourself go limp.

This is active addiction.

Now, you will want to move your point of view towards your feet. Let your vision flow slowly downwards to a few objects on the ground. They emerge out of the shadow like a face coming out of blue water. One by one you note them.

Notice three objects. These are your play things. These are the tools you used with, the way you used, the magical objects that took you to this dark deep place to begin with. They may be spoons or pipes, bottles or paper money. They are whatever you used to use with and by.

Around them and you is a border marked in small smooth white stones. And as you look at these objects of using, these playthings, the smooth white stones begin to emit a faint gleam.

Your attention moves from the objects of active addiction to the gleam of these stones. It is faint but entrancing. And as you examine this gleam, it brightens and become luminously gleaming bright. And you see more clearly outside the white stone circle.

Outside the circle, you see people. They do not notice you; you are in a different place to them now. They are the people you used with or around; they are your playmates. As you observe them, they do what they do when you are using. Maybe they yell and scream, or break things, or fight, or use drugs, or have sex. You watch and let them do what they do, without your involvement of any kind. 

Then notice as your playmates do their thing, they begin to slow. Golden-brown treacle descends around them like a curtain, and they become frozen in time and space. They fall still. And beyond them you see a row of gleaming smooth white stones light up.

Slowly, slowly, a second circle of small smooth white stones becomes clear. They begin to gleam and shimmer. They are brighter than the first circle, and just as entrancing. Your attention is captivated by them. They are so sweet and clean and bright. They gleam brilliantly now, and you become aware of a new set of shapes and forms beyond them.

And you see places you used in. It may be that living room full of bottles of stale urine, or that boarding house room where you detoxed, or that park where you slept. It may be your workplace toilet cubicle where you shot up in, or that nightclub where you fell unconscious at. It may be a city street in day or night. It may be your dealer’s house, or parent’s house, or stranger’s house. And as you see the play-places where you used, as you notice the place you came from, and feel the feelings this inspires in you, become aware of one final circle, beyond the things, people and places you used in and over.

Beyond the play-places you see the largest third white circle even more brilliant and gleaming than the last two. And it is empty except for a clean, polished, gleaming white elevator door.

Now, from your inner circle, looking out over your using tools, your using associates, and your using places, you can see the way out. To reach it you must walk through the three circles.

Taking a stone from the first circle, leave behind your using playthings. Leave behind the glass, the pipe, the needle, all the other tools. Feel the smooth white stone vibrate like a living thing in your hands as you step out into the second circle.

Walk past the frozen past playmates and pick up a second white stone. It is warm to the touch, isn’t it? They cannot touch you now, and you can see the way clear as you step into the third circle.

Find yourself in the circle of past places, and locate the third white stone circle within it. Pick up the third stone and walk free into the now brilliantly lit up elevator.

Notice the twelve buttons on the elevator? You may try to press the buttons from 2 to 12 but the elevator but it will not respond. Instead, press the first button. Instantly the doors swish shut and you begin to rise.

Rising speedily out of darkness, now, feeling the three warm rocks vibrating in your arms, you can begin to feel hopeful, even positive about things to come. You have escaped from the hell of active addiction, from the people, places and things that held you enslaved, and now you are on your way out.

Begin to imagine for yourself now a luxurious hotel lobby, set up just for you. Begin to imagine that the elevator doors are in a moment opening on this abundant and beautiful scene. Using your complete creative freedom, begin to imagine the doors opening on a scene of polish, light, water, fragrence, music, beauty, sweetness and light.

Remember to step out at once. You are on ground floor.

As you wonder and admire the beauty around you, begin to look for a specific object on the tables. Or maybe it is beside the golden fountains. Or perhaps it is kept safe for you at the concierge’s desk. Or perhaps someone dear is holding it for you.

Look hard for the object you seek. It is blue and square. It can save your life if you let it. And then, when you notice it, let your heart leap with hope and find yourself right up next to it.

It is the NABT, the Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text. Place the first white stone on it, now, and feel your desire to get clean wake up inside you. You want this. You want to live clean and happy. Pick up the book at take it with you.

Now, begin to see your sponsor or support person or sharing partner enjoying themselves in the lobby, talking and laughing with others as they always are. Approach them and notice the look of love and joy in their eyes as they see you coming. They are so glad you made it here!

Walk straight up to them, and speaking from the heart or saying nothing at all, give them the second smooth white gleaming stone. And as you give it to them, feel your desire to connect with another, your longing for laughter, meaning, attention, love, energy, and aliveness, feel all that long-lost humanity wake up inside you. They hug you and with words or without words, lead you gently away from the crowd of happy people. You and them walk together, glad and peaceful, across the lobby to an empty conference room.

The room is ordinary, even simple. But your sponsor instructs you to place your stones in the center of the room, and you do, and immediately you feel lighter.

Then your sponsor asks you to help put out chairs in a circle, and set up a table. Your sponsor puts up banners on the side of the room of the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. Your sponsor produces a kettle and puts on coffee and tea for you and the others, and then you look around and see that the room is filling up with happy, healthy, smilling people.

Notice how clear and bright their eyes are. Notice how pink their cheeks are from laughing recently. These are your fellowship.

And as you look at these handsome people, so happy and peaceful, and feel a part of them, begin to notice the desire to be happy and peaceful too. Notice that desire waking up in you, and feel it so keenly that you cannot help but want to join them and sit with them, and feel welcomed by them and accepted completely. 

Feel free to sit in the circle. Your sponsor brings you a cup of warm beverage, just how you like it, and you sit and listen to the others speak. And what you hear touches you. Because, no matter THEY say, the message YOU hear from them is something like this:

Welcome to the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous!

You are in the right place to recover, at the right time to recover, with the right people to recover!

All you need, all you need right now, in order to recover is a desire to do so. And you have that desire.

You are safe, and all is well. All is well, and so long as you keep coming back to this place in yourself of desire to be well and the happiness of being with others, all will be well.

You are very precious to us. Welcome!

You hear and feel and see these words inside yourself, and you return to an even fuller wakefulness than before with the lovely feeling of desire inside your stomach, feeling grounded and peaceful and ready for more.

In whatever way you return to wakefulness, now, allow yourself to.

Thank you and God bless!